coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
The Cat Wants What the Cat Wants (Bobby/Darien | PG13 | 2,994 words): Darien gets changed into a cat. Darien-as-acat is adoable, and the bantering with Bobby (even while Darien's a cat) is spot-on.

Excerpt:
"A cat burglar." Hobbes chuckled. "That's you now, Fawkes. Get it? Cat burglar."

Darien considered whether or not it said something flattering about Hobbes that it had taken him two weeks to come up with the joke.

"Yeah, that's really funny, Hobbes," he said.

"Sometimes, I could swear he understands everything I say to him, you know?" Hobbes told Claire, who was sitting behind her computer, lap inaccessible, and frowning.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
And, Action! (Bobby, Darien, Claire | PG | 1,078 words): Bobby and Darien have to deliver Claire's baby when the three of them get stuck in the elevator. There's something vastly amusing about men who should never be put in a situation where they have to deliver a baby being put in that situation. And then freaking out about it.

Excerpt:
"Bobby, check my progress."

Bobby looked at her legs, horrified.

"Bobby," she growled.

"I always thought Italian food, a little Barry White if we ever went there," he said numbly. She bared her teeth and he hopped to it, sliding his hands up under her skirt and peeling off her undies, already flooded with... with... with internal organ juice. Eeergh. Bobby reminded himself that he was a top-caliber agent, that his jib was *very* well cut, and that he was equal to the challenge, and then he peeked under her skirt.

"Gah!" he shouted, throwing himself backwards.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Class Clowns (ensemble, Darien/Bobby | PG | 809 words): Eberts must teach a first aid class to Darien, Bobby, and Claire. It's funny and banter-filled.

Excerpt:
"Claire, I have to say I'm disappointed." Eberts held out her paper. Claire snatched it from his hand and looked at it, her face pink.

"You marked down for spelling errors? Those aren't spelling errors, Eberts. Most English-speaking countries spell 'color' with a 'u,' and this answer here isn't wrong, either, a plaster and a bandage are the same thing. This is ridiculous."
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
AC/DC (Bobby/Darien | NC17 | 1,607 words) is a day in the lives of Bobby and Darien. Hee, there's banter and snark, and Bobby is appropriately paranoid. Personally, I think the Official gets the best line in the fic.

Excerpt:
Darien got a second look at the guy, who Hobbes had pinned against the wall. "Marty?"

"Darien, call your friend off!"

"Hobbes, it's all right. That's Marty, my landlord."

Squinting suspiciously, Hobbes reset the safety on his gun and slowly backed away.

"Uh, I just wanted to let you know that the electrician is coming tomorrow, first thing." Marty ran a shaking hand through his hair. Marty wasn't quite a hippie, but he was that "nearly-responsible aging beach dude" that you saw everywhere in San Diego. Darien had never seen him so rattled.

"Did you say that you were Federal agents?" He edged away from Bobby and turned to face Darien.

"Yeah, we're with the Fish and Game." Darien flashed his badge.

"Oh!" Marty looked confused and slightly relieved. "I thought..." he trailed off.

"You thought what?" Darien crossed his arms.

"Well, you're out a lot of crazy hours and, uh ...you don't exactly wear a suit, you know?" he gestured towards Darien's teal shorts. "And you seem to have more money than your average beach bum, so I thought you were, you know ...independently employed." He winked and elaborately pantomimed smoking a joint.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Fish and Game (Bobby/Darien | PG | 1,153 words) has Bobby calling Darien in the early hours of the morning. It's snarky and cute and fun and mostly dialogue. And that sentence does not come close to expressing how utterly wonderful this story is, but it is a delightful story.

Excerpt:
"You sleeping, Fawkesy?"

"Of course I was sleeping, Hobbes, it's--" Darien rolled over to look at the clock, "3:28 a.m.."

"So it is, so it is. What's shakin'?"

"Nothing. I was sleeping."

"Sleeping, of course."

Darien rubbed his eyes. "Actually, I was having this dream."

"Oh yeah? What was it?"

"We were working some case, introducing ourselves, the whole 'Fish and Game' thing, you know."

"Ah, the ol' Fish and Game..."

"The ol' Fish and Game. You miss it?"
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Actualize This (ensemble | PG13 | 34,636 words) has Darien, Hobbes, Jim, Blair, Jack, and Daniel attending a buzzword-filled retreat. While there, they uncover a nefarious plot. There's a lot of good humor, and the character interactions between all the teams are fantastic. However, for me, all that good stuff (and it is good) is overwhelmed by my love for Darien and Bobby's portrayals. Because this is the Darien and Bobby that convinced me to get up at 7am on Saturday to watch them. And of course Jack would decide to name the other four after Simpsons characters.

Excerpt:
"Thank god! Coffee!" Otto practically squealed. Well, it wasn't so much of a squeal as it was a gasp of relief as he spied the gangly waiter loping up with a large green carafe. Nevertheless, Jack winced and pinched the bridge of his nose. Somehow, he didn't think Otto needed any more coffee. He glanced up to offer Hap a look of sympathy but found that the cop was chatting quite happily with his partner, a smile of endearment upon his face. Huh. Apparently Otto was the type that grew on you upon closer acquantance, kind of like Danny. He was still a complete geek, though.

As the waiter came around to fill all of their cups, Mr. Millhouse watched him tetchily, eyes narrowed as he scanned the kid for a hint of a concealed weapon.

"Don't you have lattes or anything?" he grumbled, eyeing the carafe suspiciously. "Maybe a non-fat half-caf venti mocha? With a cinnamon stick?"

When the waiter responded that they just had regular and decaf, he snorted and said, "Typical. Damn Canadians think they're too good for normal coffee."

"Hobbes, those froofy concoctions you drink do *not* count as 'normal,'" Snake groaned. His voice had a weary edge that implied that they'd had this argument before. He tapped the steaming cup demonstratively with the back of his finger. "*This* is normal coffee. See, because it's just COFFEE."

But Mr. Millhouse just shook his head, smiling at his partner with a look of affectionate condescension. "You only say that because that's what they want you to think. You're totally taken in. It'll all come out one of these days, you'll see."

Jack blinked at the pair in amazement, marveling that they had demonstrated themselves to be even more nuts than he had originally suspected.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Eulogy, or Seduction of the Innocent (Kevin/Arnaud | NC17 | 1,116 words) has Arnaud explaining Kevin. I can hear Arnaud's voice in my head when I read this, and Arnaud can be very seductive. The story also uses some of the darker elements of the show in its narration.

Excerpt:
But consider, then, how Kevin accomplished this miraculous rescue: by volunteering his brother without his consent to be a human guinea pig for his pet project, extorting from his government backers amnesty for his brother. Darien was not any more suitable a test subject than anyone else. Even if a convicted felon were to be desired for this purpose, think of the public outrage had it been revealed that a murderer was being set free! Not merely spared from the electric chair and given life imprisonment, but set free.

And how did he convince Darien to accept his help? By lies of commission and omission. Not telling his brother what was to be done to him, not even telling him there would be surgery involved.