Significant Effect (Illya/Napoleon | R | 9,508 words): After a comment from Napoleon, Illya decides to explore the possibility that he prefers men. This is delightful. I love how well Illya and Napoleon work together, even while Napoleon's jealous. And it's easy to see why Napoleon is so captivated by Illya.

Excerpt:
"This doesn't have anything to do with—what happened in Belgium, does it?" Napoleon asked, recalling barely in time that their office was monitored, like all rooms in U.N.C.L.E. "You're not trying to avoid me?"

"If I were trying to avoid you, I could pick another place to work than our shared office," Illya pointed out. "Really, Napoleon, if I didn't want to spend time with you, don't you think I would just tell you so?"

True, Illya never shied from speaking his mind, especially when he was annoyed. Still, Napoleon couldn't help but wonder what might have changed. He studied his partner's inscrutable face. Usually it didn't bother him, not being sure what Illya was thinking; he trusted himself to accurately infer his partner's feelings, and trusted Illya to tell him when he got it wrong, if it were important.

Whether this were important—was a matter of opinion, he suspected. Whose opinion, now, was the question...

Discretionary Powers (Illya/Napoleon | PG13 | 2,381 words): Rule 37 Subsection C has been rescinded, and Illya has plans. This is completely delightful! Illya is the very determined man with a plan, and Napoleon is definitely along for that ride.

Excerpt:
Waving a distracted goodbye to Danielle, Napoleon broke into a jog to catch up with his partner. "Where are we going?"

"Your place is closer," Illya said.

"It is," Napoleon agreed, "but what does that have to do with Rule Thirty-whatever—"

Illya stopped a couple feet from the doors and sighed. "Oh, Napoleon," he said, in the singular tone of exasperation and something else that Napoleon over the years had determined must be fondness, for lack of a better explanation.

The Secret Santa Affair (Illya/Napoleon | PG13 | 3,436 words): Illya is Napoleon's Secret Santa. This has fantastic Napoleon and Illya banter, suave and teasing and knowing.

Excerpt:
Illya felt his neck grow warmer. /You were watching me that closely?/ he wanted to ask. /Did you like what you saw?/ But instead he said, "I shall have to be more circumspect this year."

"What, and spoil half my fun?" Napoleon asked.

Illya felt his eartips reddening. With any luck he could blame the phenomenon on the cold wind that was beginning to scour the Manhattan canyons now that the sun was hidden behind the taller buildings. "I thought your 'fun' was getting drunk and dancing with every girl who would let you," he said gruffly.

"Just pleasantly muddled," Napoleon corrected the description. "Being drunk spoils all the fun."

Alpha (Napoleon/Illya | G | 4,046 words): Napoleon and Illya only have one more class to complete before they can become UNCLE agents. If you've ever wondered why heroes snark at the bad guys while fighting or while captured, then this is for you. This is alternately crackily hilarious with Napoleon and Illya insulting each other for class and rather sweet with them coming to understand one another.

Excerpt:
"But it is not enough," Roman went on, "that you be able to fight, kill, improvise and withstand torture. You must also maintain the high standards of UNCLE's scorn for the criminal element, at all times. A sense of humour is essential. A quick mind likewise. Taunting your enemies mercilessly, enduring whatever punishment they throw at you, is a useful gambit. Provoking them into making a mistake is as much a part of your arsenal as your Special is."

Akilimale patted his sidearm comfortably. Roman recalled that the young man had the best record of anyone, to date, on the firing range. He made a note to keep an eye on him, make sure he wasn't too reliant on his weapon.

"So I am going to pair you off," he said, "and evaluate just how irritating you can be to each other. You will be evaluated on the strengths of your wit, your repartee, and how cleverly you use language." He fixed his glower on Grant and added, "Points will be deducted for out-and-out crudeness."

The Growing Up Affair (Napoleon/Illya, OC | PG | 9,343 words): Napoleon and Illya are sent to protect a girl that THRUSH is after. Hee, this is a fun romp with action and banter and a likeable OC, despite her being young and sheltered and -- because of that -- a little stupid at times. But she does have a brain and uses it and learns, so I can't blame her for being like a lot of people that age.

Excerpt:
"What kind of a name is Kuryakin?" she asked.

"I am from the Soviet Union," he answered evenly.

"But they're Communist!" she exclaimed in alarm. Her father had told her all about the Communists, how they were trying to destroy the American way of life and take over the world.

"Yes, it is a Socialist Republic, but I am working with an international organization now, that has very little to do with such ideologies."

But he was a Communist. How could she believe anything he said? "Are you a Communist too?" she asked Solo, appalled.

He chuckled. "No, I'm afraid I'm a dyed in the wool Capitalist. But I'm surprised you're worried about it. I thought you hippies were all peace and love and easygoing."

"I'm not...." She stopped herself again. Then she noticed how dark it was outside the car. "Hey, where are we? Why aren't we on the highway?"

The Russian answered, "We have decided that it will be safer to go through the park. It is isolated, but for that very reason we will be less likely to be spotted by Thrush patrols. They were already on campus, you know, watching your dormitory."

That didn't sound good. It was more than three hundred miles from Canton to New York City, and longer than that if they went through the Adirondack park. Were people going to be trying to kill her all the way there? People trying to kill her? It didn’t seem likely.

The Road to Morocco Affair (Napoleon/Illya | PG13 | 10,654 words) is a take-off of Bing Crosby and Bob Hope's The Road to Morocco with Napoleon and Illya. It's a fun romp with silliness and banter.

Excerpt:
Illya touched his arm, "Napoleon. Over there."

"Ah. A haberdashery." They examined the vicinity of the shop whose counter boasted burnooses and turbans and the like. There was a wooden overhang at the front, a kind of rough portico, with clothing draped over its support beams.

"If you could generate a distraction," Illya said, "I could climb up there and take what we need without the shopkeeper seeing me."

"A distraction?" Napoleon echoed dubiously.

At that moment gunfire erupted, some distance away, followed by shouts, screams, and the clatter of hoofbeats.

"Ta-da," Napoleon said, with the appropriate gesture.

Illya rolled his eyes. "Well done."

The FAO Schwartz Affair (Napoleon/Illya | R | 4,750 words) is Napoleon telling the story as to why he chose Illya as his partner. Aww, this is really sweet. And it paints a heart-breaking picture of Illya trying to adjust to America, having recently been uprooted from his home.

Excerpt:
I know you find it impossible to believe that I was drawn to you back then. You sometimes find it hard to believe that I am drawn to you now. I think it is why you need the loving words so much, to help convince you that my love for you is genuine. I know you do believe, in the deepest parts of yourself, but you need occasional reassurance.

"Yes, well, I found it a bit hard to believe myself." Ah, that got the glint back in your eyes. I start again, before you can skewer me with your sharp wit. "I followed you when you left that day, watched as you bought some kielbasa for dinner, and as you wandered into several bookstores. You still barely spoke, and I saw how you moved down the street, staying closed up, until you were almost invisible to the people passing you by." I remember that it had been close to Christmas, and you seemed so unaffected by any of the Christmas paraphernalia.

You sigh. "It was not a good thing to be noticed when I was growing up, Napoleon. And even in this country, it was not a good thing to be Russian."

The Better Gadget Affair (Napoleon/Illya | NC17 | 26,903 words) is set before Napoleon and Illya are partnered. Napoleon's working solo in the field while Illya's working in the lab. Illya starts making gadgets for Napoleon, the two make a connection, and other stuff happens. I love the story because it's got plot and romance and characterization. All without angst that would be unecessary here. Rather, it makes me smile.

Excerpt:
While Napoleon would be thrilled at any gadget Illya gave him, what he really needed what a miniature acetylene torch. He muttered, "I hope it's an acetylene torch."

"It is. A miniature one." He took a pen out of his pocket and handed it to Napoleon.

Napoleon gaped at the pen in his hand. "This is a torch?"

Illya nodded. He unscrewed the pen and flipped up the small nozzle. "It doesn't hold much, needless to say, so I made you two." He pulled out another pen. "This one is a mechanical pencil." Using the pencil, he fully demonstrated its torch workings by flipping up the small nozzle and pushing up a switch until a small hissing was heard.

Taking a lighter he flicked it and the torch was lit. "Each one will only last for forty five seconds." He shut off the gas. Reaching into his pocket he took out two small tubes that looked like ink cartridges. "I made two replacement gas canisters." He showed Napoleon how to change it out. "That will give you, seeing as I've just used about four seconds of gas, about two minutes and fifty-six seconds."

Napoleon was speechless. Then his eyes narrowed. "Not that I'm not grateful, but how did you know I needed this?"

"Lucky guess."

Napoleon shook his head. "I fell for that one once already. I only got the case file the day before yesterday and it hasn't been out of my office."

Illya gave him a suspiciously innocent look. Then he spoiled it all when he said, "Speaking of your office, do you need a good lock pick?"

Napoleon's eyes widened. "Illya, did you break into my office?"

Illya let out a tsk tsk noise. "You really should have Waverly beef up the security in this place, Napoleon. It was ridiculously easy to get in."

The Wild Wild U.N.C.L.E. (Napoleon/Illya, Jim/Artie | PG13 | 11,255 words) is the story that got me interested in the Wild Wild West. Napoleon and Illya land in Jim and Artie's time. The Napoleon/Illya stuff shows that they're happy and in love and comfortable with each other, which is how I like my couples. Artie and Jim are cute. While the focus is not on the time-travel, enough thought was put into that point so that it's not senseless.

Excerpt:
"Jim, I..." Artie began speaking before he stepped through the door, and stopped abruptly once he got a lookinside. "You're not James West."

"Not last time I looked," the man responded amiably. Handsome, with dark hair and twinkling eyes, he smiled in a friendly manner. For all his geniality, however, there was an air of impersonal menace about him. He sat on the floor with his back against the wall, cradling the motionless form of a smaller blond man in his arms.

"What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for our good host to decide what to do with us, I expect." He didn't seem particularly concerned, his flippant attitude reminding Artie of Jim. The stranger lifted one shoulder, shifting his clasp on the man lying against his chest.

"What's wrong with your friend?" Artie belatedly found his concern.

"Nothing. It's his turn to sleep." That half-shrug again, accompanied by another faint grin. Artie wondered how anyone could sleep through the conversation. "Your friend, James West -- he an athletic-looking fellow, dark hair, tight pants?" Artie grinned at the description, nodding vigorously. "Well then, the little guy has him cooped up in that lab of his."

"You must mean Dr. Loveless."

"Oh, is that his name?" Again, he didn't seem too concerned one way or another. Artie raised an eyebrow at him, and he explained, "We didn't really bother to ask."

"Meet one megalomaniac scientist, you've met them all," the blond remarked in a lightly-accented voice without opening his eyes.

The Louis Armstrong Affair (Napoleon/Illya | NC17 | 11,127 words) is about Napoleon and Illya discovering what it means to be a couple (as opposed to friends) while still staying themselves. It made me go "awww" at some places and laugh at others; it's a story about the relationship without all the angst that so many stories thrive on. Not that this doesn't deal with angsty issues, but it deals with them in a way that allows Napoleon and Illya to stay the grown men and international spies that they are.

Excerpt:
"What are you doing?"

Napoleon tossed his shoes well away from the water's edge before kneeling down on one knee to roll up the hems of his pants. "Isn't obvious?"

Regarding him through narrowed eyes, Illya made his assessment. "You look as though you are about to frolic in the sea water."

"Why, Illya, one would think you didn't approve of frolicking." Napoleon then did promptly that, dashing into the cold water and then backing out quickly, making sure to send a small torrent of water Illya's way on his retreat.

"UNCLE agents do not frolic," Illya replied frostily, bearing the droplets of water on his face with resigned stoicism, although he knew the gleam in his eyes betrayed him. "Neither do they revel, carouse, caper or cavort."

Napoleon kicked another wave of muddy froth in Illya's direction. "We're not UNCLE agents here, you know. We're - " He shrugged and grinned, apparently as unprepared as Illya to put a name to what they'd become.