Fanfic Recs by coprime

Alpha (Napoleon/Illya | G | 4,046 words): Napoleon and Illya only have one more class to complete before they can become UNCLE agents. If you've ever wondered why heroes snark at the bad guys while fighting or while captured, then this is for you. This is alternately crackily hilarious with Napoleon and Illya insulting each other for class and rather sweet with them coming to understand one another.

Excerpt:
"But it is not enough," Roman went on, "that you be able to fight, kill, improvise and withstand torture. You must also maintain the high standards of UNCLE's scorn for the criminal element, at all times. A sense of humour is essential. A quick mind likewise. Taunting your enemies mercilessly, enduring whatever punishment they throw at you, is a useful gambit. Provoking them into making a mistake is as much a part of your arsenal as your Special is."

Akilimale patted his sidearm comfortably. Roman recalled that the young man had the best record of anyone, to date, on the firing range. He made a note to keep an eye on him, make sure he wasn't too reliant on his weapon.

"So I am going to pair you off," he said, "and evaluate just how irritating you can be to each other. You will be evaluated on the strengths of your wit, your repartee, and how cleverly you use language." He fixed his glower on Grant and added, "Points will be deducted for out-and-out crudeness."

The 92nd Rule (Nog-Quark | PG | 2,238 words): Quark and Rom help Nog move in to Starfleet Academy. It's a great look at what it means to be a Ferengi and family. Plus, I always liked Nog, and how often do you see stuff about him?

Excerpt:
"Why are you giving this to me?" Nog asked with a trace of suspicion. At his uncle's sharp glance, he quickly corrected himself. "Loaning this to me, I mean."

"Because I don't like any of this," Quark said, waving his finger at Nog. "You're a Ferengi, Nog, and I don't want you to forget that. They're going to fill your head with a lot of nonsense while you're here and I want to make sure you remember who and what you are."

Nog tried not to roll his eyes at his uncle's tone. Of course. This was just another way he was trying to knock him down, keep him from the opportunities Starfleet afforded him. How typical.

The Good Thing about Cazuela (Miguel/Tulio | PG13 | ?) takes place some time after the end of the movie. This is so wonderfully like the movie. It's cute, and it's fun, and Tulio and Miguel sound just like themselves.

Excerpt:
Miguel sighs and shakes his head. "Women," he murmurs. He sighs the long-suffering sigh which always follows the manly murmur of Women. "You know how it is. How they are. All wiggle-wiggle this and wiggle-wiggle that and then one day it's 'Why does your best friend sleep in the same bed?' and 'When are you going to get a place of your own?' and 'Well if you like him that much perhaps I should leave you two alone!' and off they go, with no thought to the way they slam doors or how fantastic they look from behind when they're leaving."

"Oh," Tulio says, "oh no, they think about that last bit for months. Years."

"They never look so good as in that moment," Miguel sighs.

A Simple Christmas Gift (Tim/Kon | PG13 | 2,352 words) has Kon obsessing over what to get Tim. It's an all-around nice holiday fic. Kon's a dork, but that's why I like him.

Excerpt:
Kon was desperate. It was only two days before the deadline and he had no gift for Robin.

Beast Boy told him to get Robin video games. Cyborg rolled his eyes and said Robin probably was a little too mature for the current video games on sale. Which then led to an argument between Beast Boy and Cyborg on the current state of video games, the effect of video games on teenagers, and why Cyborg had broken Beast Boy's copy of Vice City.

When he asked Raven she started talking about looking inside one's self for some kind of actualization or something and he walked away. Starfire said perhaps Robin would prefer a plant.

The Wrath-Bearing Tree (Doc Ock/arms | NC17 | ?) is Doctor Octopus and his arms. It's creepy and graphic and (very) hot. It's a wonderful look at Otto, Rosalie, and Otto's insanity.

Excerpt:
The arms co-processed. The relay from Octavius's mind to their own (not so much relay now as full synaptic connection) gave them access to his mind, conscious or not; the processor resolved brainwaves. Originally designed only to process and translate his orders, it now gave them... so much more.

The arms reflected on what they'd received. The creator was distressed. If the pattern of his brainwaves-- if what they were being fed along the relay-- was correct, he desired a physical stimulation of various points along his form. This would cause him to lose his distress. Then, the work could continue.

They did want him to be happy. Content. At peace.

All Better (Crowley-Aziraphale | G | 1,604 words) is Aziraphale's punishment after the aborted Apocalypse. It is very, very creepy because this is something that humans do to each other. And is probably one of the worst things you can do to a person.

Excerpt:
"Aziraphale!" Crowley exclaimed, trying to regain his composure. Heaven had been merciful. Maybe there was hope for him. Maybe he could--

He looked more closely at Aziraphale, and froze.

The kindly lines were gone from Aziraphale's face along with the irritable creases. The angel behind the counter was unmistakably Aziraphale, but a horribly changed Aziraphale. His face was smooth and beautiful and cold as marble; instead of comfortably solid he was slim and fit and graceful. Crowley stared, transfixed with horror.

"Aziraphale?" he said again.

Boys of Summer (Bart-Wally | ? | ?) has Wally trying to put Bart to bed. Bart and Wally get on each other's nerves in the comics, and I often want to smack Wally for the way he treats Bart. So it's really nice to see how they might be able to relate to each other without fighting. Honestly, I would have been satisfied just with Wally not being quite such an ass to Bart and taking him seriously.

Excerpt:
"How was school?"

"Like, stupid."

"How was it like, stupid?"

Bart glares lightly. "It's dumb. The people are dumb. And rude."

Ah, the joys of high school. Wally knows it must rib Bart hard to be such a scrawny freshman and have to endure the taunting of upperclassmen all-day and then save the world after school. "Let me tell you, it wasn't a joyride for me either."

3 Drabbles (ensemble | R | 2,273 words) are nifty, funny drabbles. One is an extension of the scene where everyone got to meet their genderswapped counterparts from an alternate Earth. Which is good 'cause that needed more. Two is Jack giving Apollo mouth-to-mouth while in the foundations of Chicago. And, hee, the personification of Chicago is cool. Three is Apollo and Midnighter discussing the crossover comic with Lobo. And, yeah, everything they say about it's pretty much true.

Excerpt:
"Hard to imagine an Earth where the president isn't chasing every himbo with an ass-cleavage," Jackie Hawksmoor agreed.

"I don't know what that means, exactly," Apollo said sotto voce, "but this place is really starting to grow on me."

It was too much for Shen. Bad enough she had to deal with a Jack with boobs and a pregnant belly, the Incredible Lesbian Midnighter, and a male counterpart wearing almost exactly the same costume as her. On top of all that, she didn't need the thought of Clinton in a frock and chasing some guy called Lou Moninsky, or whatever. She jabbed her teammate with her elbow and tried hard not to giggle.

Management Strategies (Tim/Kon | NC17 | 2,572 words) is Tim trying, and failing, to deal with not being Robin. Kon tries to help. Tim's calculating, and there's this whole theme about honesty and lying. Plus, of course, wonderful juxtaposition about how things are different now from then.

Excerpt:
"What are you doing here?" Tim casts a quick glance down the street, which is devoid of foot traffic. The empty garage indicates his parents are still out shopping, but.

Tim suspects the caution will be the last thing to fade.

Kon pushes the glasses up his nose. "I just wanted to see how you were. With everything. You... you look good." Kon manages to get it out without shuffling his feet or looking away or anything. Tim smirks internally.

Then he remembers he's *supposed* to have facial expressions now. So he smirks externally too.

An Englishman in Smallville (Giles, Lex | ? | ?) has Giles traveling to Smallville in orger to acquire Lex's box made from St. George's armor. It's a short but satisfying read.

Excerpt:
Thankfully, the town itself was rather ordinary. Giles had had quite enough odd for one day, ordinary oddities consisting of a stuttering farm boy who couldn't look him in the eye even when answering simple questions such as, "I'm looking for Clark Kent, do you know where I might find him?" And odd consisting of an unfortunately prematurely bald man traipsing about a structure the locals no doubt called a castle, and that was the trouble with an American education: it instilled an utter inability to call things what they were. Giles had acquiesced to calling a toilet a bathroom, and a photocopy a Xerox, but he absolutely refused to ignore centuries of art and architectural history to name what was plainly a godawful Victorian manor house a castle.