Blood and Warm Blankets (Eomer/Faramir | PG13 | 1,516 words) is a parody of slash cliches. Faramir and Eomer are stuck in a cave. This means that there is going to be sex before the dawn, according to Faramir. The image of these two men swapping gossip is mind-bogglingly funny.
Excerpt:
Eomer lost his grip on Faramir's arm for the third time and sighed in exasperation. "Would you stop wriggling? I'm doing my best, and I'm sure you've borne worse in a scrap with your brother."
Faramir muttered something incomprehensible but flinched away a fourth time. With a resounding clatter of wood on stone, Eomer slammed the bowl down. "For Bema's sake, I am *not* going to rip off that blanket and jump you like a randy stallion! You do read far too much, that's for certain. Besides, my sister would wring my neck." His grey eyes twinkled with merriment. "Or Elessar would have me gelded."
Excerpt:
Eomer lost his grip on Faramir's arm for the third time and sighed in exasperation. "Would you stop wriggling? I'm doing my best, and I'm sure you've borne worse in a scrap with your brother."
Faramir muttered something incomprehensible but flinched away a fourth time. With a resounding clatter of wood on stone, Eomer slammed the bowl down. "For Bema's sake, I am *not* going to rip off that blanket and jump you like a randy stallion! You do read far too much, that's for certain. Besides, my sister would wring my neck." His grey eyes twinkled with merriment. "Or Elessar would have me gelded."