coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Beautiful (Legolas/Gimli | G | 285 words): Legolas expands his definition of beautiful. This is sweet and refreshing.

Excerpt:
You defined beauty as you had been taught. The rush of water over stone; the grace of an arrow's flight; jewels shining in sunlight or moonlight, and the Elven maidens who wore them.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Gifts of Life (Merry-Gimli | G | 1,797 words). Merry and Gimli discuss their wedding gifts for Aragorn and Arwen. It's a really nice look at hobbit and dwarven cultures and what's important to each. Both have thoughtful gifts that supplement each other.

Excerpt:
"It is beautiful, Merry and intricately and carefully wrought. I might make a jeweler out of you if you care to spend some time with my folks. And it will remind him every day of the days he carried this lineage in his heart, tracing the lines to its fulfillment."

"His descent, yes." Merry pushed the big books back and revealed more of the work, its lines and joinings, its crisscrossed patterns like knotwork, its roots and flowers and branches. "But hobbits are concerned with more than just the line from father to son. Men speak of their families as a line – but for us it is more like a web, every strand a life that touched a heart."
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
The Very Secret Diary of Captain Jack Sparrow (Jack Sparrow | PG13 | 1,706 words) is Jack's diary when he ends up in Middle Earth shortly before the battle at Minas Tirith. Oh my, it is very funny.

Excerpt:
Interesting. This fleet hails from somewhere called Umbar. Never heard of it, and can't find it in Mercator's New Atlas of World Conquest, or A-Z of Caribbean, so is obviously local name for some perfectly ordinary place. Key West, perhaps. Or Morecambe (see Very Badly Lost possibility above).

Anyway, pirate armada call themselves corsairs, but am not fooled; they have black ships with black sails, crewed by ugly, overweight disfigured men with exotic accents. Perhaps 'Umbar' is actually Gateshead. Anyway, 'corsair' is only nancy-boy word for 'pirate'.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
I Will Follow (Legolas/Gimli | G | 1,386 words) is a scene between Legolas and Gimli with Gimli contemplating the casing for Lady Galadriel's gift to him. The story feels right to me, subtle and loving with the meaning of things couched in other words.

Excerpt:
Gimli met their clear gaze for a moment and then looked away, unable or unwilling to share what his own eyes might have told. For surely he was mistaken in what he thought he saw? "I was but wandering in my mind, dreaming of jeweled housings for the gift of the Lady of Lorien."

Legolas, who had seemed strangely unsettled at Gimli's refusal to look at him now laughed, the sound brittle against the low rumble of camp. "So that is it. Such is a dwarve's pleasure - rocks and minerals and the cold perfection of stones."

Gimli did not reply. After a moment the elf brought his long legs up and folded his arms around his shin, resting his chin on his knees. "No wonder Durin's race spreads but slowly. Truly it must be hard to win the heart of such connoisseurs of beauty who seek only perfection and finding it, or the property of some other, not would rather do without than live with something less." He looked down as he spoke. Harsh words. Yet their tone seemed more bitter than scornful.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Opening Doors (Narvi-Celebrimbor, Narvi/Galadriel | R | 6,109 words) is a look at Narvi and Celebrimbor building the gates of Moria. It's an engaging story and an easy read.

Excerpt:
I lit the fire for Celebrimbor when we arrived at his camp, but when he started preparing the food I went to sit by the stream out of his way. I had eaten at the elf's fireside often enough to learn that I was happier not knowing what went into the food. It was all good, but fungus and dead leaves and what looked like tree roots made me nervous.

The Gate Stream chuckled slowly in its bed, the water well below the rock on which I sat. It had been a dry couple of years, a mercy when your work was too big to bring inside, but the guards on the old gate were complaining about rising food prices. The guards were nearly the only dwarves I talked to any more, stuck out in the West Tunnels as I was, and even they never stayed long. The duty was considered punishment, so far from the life of the rest of the city, and a month here covered most infractions. My own presence here was not punishment, though sometimes I wondered if I had earned someone's disfavor.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
How to Save Your Marriage (Aragorn/Arwen, Aragorn/Legolas | PG13 | 4,475 words) has Aragorn trying to come up with an answer as to how to get an heir since Arwen refuses to have sex with him. Legolas helps. This story is ridiculous, and I love it for it.

Excerpt:
"I need your help," he said quietly.

Legolas swallowed. "Of course, Aragorn. What would you ask of me?"

"An heir."

"I'm not a woman," Legolas said harshly. "Sometimes I really hate you people."

"What?" Aragorn demanded. "I'm not asking you for an heir; I'm asking you to--" He broke off, frustrated. "Arwen will not lie with me," he whispered. "That does not surprise me," Legolas replied. He stabbed a piece of boar with his fork.

"Unlike the Elves, I grow closer to death with each passing day," Aragorn said. Legolas bowed his head sadly, and Aragorn knew the Elf's resolve was weakening. He always saw Aragorn's side of things eventually. "If I die without an heir Gondor will crumble."

"What would you have me do?" Legolas asked.

"Kidnap a Hobbit and dress him up as my son."
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Engastrimyth (Frodo/Sam | G | 947 words) is about what might have happened if Frodo had kept the one ring. This is creepy in just the right way to give me shivers. And Sam's voice as he narrates is just right as well.

Excerpt:
The first time he said, "I love you, Frodo," with my mouth, it stopped being true.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Not Willingly Unlock (Legolas/Gimli | PG13 | 1,461 words) is about elves and dwarves and language. This story is lovely and almost magical. It's a wonderful look at dwarves and Gimli in particular.

Excerpt:
They call themselves the Speakers, and sometimes it seems they still believe they are the only ones in all of Middle-earth. First-made, First-born, and First-loved, highcrafters of words and shapers of songs the Elves may be. But when they met us at the first, they called us not iron-workers or even axe-wielders. Perhaps they had already known too much hardship, and had but little love left for naming, but since that time we have ever been the Stunted, and the Stunted are not Speakers.

But Dwarves were First-made, too, and Stunted is not the name first given to us. For we are Children of Mahal the Smith, who forged us under the mountains and taught us speech before all else. Mahal gave us skill in words as well as in bright stones and shining metal, and Mahal it was who instructed us that true naming and true making are bound together -- and that the language he gave us would tie us always one to another, kin forever.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
The Condensed Parody Version of the FotR Script (ensemble | PG13 | 3,957 words) is really, really, really funny. So much of it is quotablely hilarious.

Excerpt:
RIVENDELL, DIFFERENT ROOM

GANDALF: So, Elrond, you're going to take the Ring and hide it behind one of these candle sconces, and nobody will ever know. Sound good?

ELROND: No way. I was there, Gandalf. I was there when Men ran out of strength. And conditioner.


FLASHBACK: MT. DOOM

ELROND watches as fuzzy-headed ISILDUR stands with the RING in the special Place to Throw Stuff Into Lava Room.

RING: (sniffle) You wouldn't destroy poor, sweet, little ol' me, would you, Isildur? You handsome... strong... powerful man?

ISILDUR: Mmm...'scuse me, Elrond, the Ring and I need some privacy.

ISILDUR walks out, cuddling the RING.

ELROND: Noooo!
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Monty Python's Quest for to Get Rid of the The Holy Grail The Ring (ensemble | G | 195 words) is highly condensed humor. Pretty much every sentence contains a joke of some sort.

Excerpt:
100 years before Deagol finds the Ring, it tried to return to its Master, Sauron.

Unwisely, however, it chose Sir Robin of King Arthur's Court.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Revenge of the Fan Fiction Husbands (ensemble | ? | ?) is a delightful parody fic. The husbands of a bunch of Lord of the Rings fic authors decide to visit Middle Earth to get their wives back in time for Valentine's Day. This is very, very clever and a lot of fun.

Excerpt:
Russell pinched the bridge of his nose, realising even as he did so that the fact that he was pinching the bridge of his nose should have told him that he was in Theresa territory; her characters were always pinching the bridges of their noses when they were exasperated. And there was another one of those sodding semi-colons! I mean, how pretentious can you get? He must stay on his guard -- if he were not careful, he would find himself in the midst of one of those sentences -- convoluted in the extreme, pointless and over-elaborate -- that littered the work of Ms Green -- the result no doubt of reading too much Henry James at college, and he would find that the narratorial viewpoint had been shifted, with no subtlety whatsoever, mind you, into an internal monologue, probably in italics. I must stay alert! These men are depending on me! Jeff is depending on me. . . Jeff has such nice eyes. . . never noticed that before.

Russell suddenly jerked to attention. Nice eyes? My god, the slash level in this universe was overwhelming even his cast-iron heterosexuality. He must get a grip on himself! Oh no! Innuendo! Aaaaaargh! We have to get out of here!

Aware that the men were starting at him with puzzled expressions, Russell gathered his composure.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Who Shall Gather (OC | G | 226 words) takes place during the scene in The Return of the King when the anonymous Minas Tirith soldiers march to their doom. The story is haunting and sad. It captures the emotions in that scene so perfectly that this snapshot stayed with me for a long time.

Excerpt:
She knows something is wrong but she doesn't know what it is. Her mother has given her a flower to throw at the men's feet, but she forgets to let go of it when the men ride by, shining and unfamiliar.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Blood and Warm Blankets (Eomer/Faramir | PG13 | 1,516 words) is a parody of slash cliches. Faramir and Eomer are stuck in a cave. This means that there is going to be sex before the dawn, according to Faramir. The image of these two men swapping gossip is mind-bogglingly funny.

Excerpt:
Eomer lost his grip on Faramir's arm for the third time and sighed in exasperation. "Would you stop wriggling? I'm doing my best, and I'm sure you've borne worse in a scrap with your brother."

Faramir muttered something incomprehensible but flinched away a fourth time. With a resounding clatter of wood on stone, Eomer slammed the bowl down. "For Bema's sake, I am *not* going to rip off that blanket and jump you like a randy stallion! You do read far too much, that's for certain. Besides, my sister would wring my neck." His grey eyes twinkled with merriment. "Or Elessar would have me gelded."
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Untying Knots (Legolas/Gimli | G | 933 words) is a short interlude with Legolas combing Gimli's hair. It's sweet and makes me go, "Aww," so I like it. The language is very pretty too, and you can see that Legolas and Gimli's friendship is still new and fragile.

Excerpt:
"If you are trying to knot your hair into a mass of tangles," Legolas said finally, "then you are doing it nicely. If that is how you always comb your hair then I should think it would be nothing but a mass of knots and snarls, a soft nest just waiting to make a home for a rat."

Gimli stiffened visibly as he whirled to see his unexpected visitor. "Just because Dwarves don't see the need to bathe every time we wipe our arse doesn't meant that..." he began, but a soft laugh from Legolas halted his angry flow of words.

"Must you take insult to any words that pass my lips?" Legolas teased softly. He sighed as the frown remained stubbornly on Gimli's lips. "My pardon, then. I meant no insult."
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
No Other Hands (Legolas/Gimli | PG | 1,208 words) has Gimli caring for his axe after Helm's Deep. This story has dwarven culture done well and shows how much Legolas and Gimli mean to each other. Whether you prefer them to be close friends or lovers, their relationship is deep. This story shows that, and it can be gen or slash depending on preference.

Excerpt:
The nick in the blade was no wider and no deeper than the thickness of his thumbnail, easily fixed even with the limited equipment in his possession. He would not have to beg the loan of tools from the smiths of Helm's Deep, nor tolerate the discomfort of working in another's shop. Still, he frowned at the axe; the blow was careless that dealt this damage. Even in the heat of battle he should have seen and avoided the orc's iron collar.

He was pleasantly conscious of Legolas's eyes on him as he selected the oil and his coarsest whetstone from his kit. The elf had not left his company since they had been reunited after the battle, as if he feared orcs would snatch him away in a moment's inattention. Or perhaps he though Gimli's trifling head-wound was more serious than it was. Either way, his attention was comforting, like a warm cloak on a cold winter's day.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
The Dove and the Rose (Legolas/Gimli | PG | 2,710 words) has some cliches, but... it also has the most wonderful metaphor. It's pretty, with good descriptions of Legolas' singing (even if they do go on a bit). The Shakespearean dialogue for Legolas fits, which is a bit surprising. Did I mention how pretty this story is? Because, even with its flaws, it is.

Excerpt:
Now Gimli lay on a bed of stone in Moria, listening to this whisper song of Legolas', finding himself inclined to listen rather than admonish the Elf for disturbing his rest. It seemed both long and short, this sweetly-yearning song. The single notes quavered and flowed like thick cream, slow to change tone or pitch. Each sound that issued from the Elf's pale lips was so achingly beautiful, so gentle at wrapping around the Dwarf's seldom-used heartstrings that he found himself catching his breath when notes did change.

Legolas' song slowly drew to a close, the silence that followed it weighing heavily on the Dwarf. He grumbled and shifted, unnerved. He could not sleep while the Elf sang, afraid he might miss something. Nor could he sleep when the Elf was silent, for then the darkness seemed all the more threatening without an Elven voice to gentle it. Gimli sighed and sat up, peering in the direction he knew the Elf to be.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
And the Sky Broke up (Legolas/Gimli | PG | 511 words) is Gimli's point of view during a storm. I, personally, love storms and to see one described so vividly is a treat. I also really like the Gimli characterization since too many fics have him bemoaning his lack of beauty when compared to Legolas. Not so here.

Excerpt:
When I woke in the dark it seemed to me that I still slept. I had turned in my sleep, so that I faced the open plain. The scene there was violent and strange. Lightning tore ragged seams from cloud to earth, its bright flashes illuminating a purple-grey sky. Water coursed down, more a fall of a flood than a fall of rain. The wind keened like a mother searching for a lost child, and, indeed, seemed to be seeking something, though what it sought I doubt any could say.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Overheard (Legolas/Gimli, OCs | R | 715 words) is a good humorous Legolas/Gimli piece. Two Lothloien elves hear something and decide to investigate. Then they stay because elves like to watch. They make a lot of the comments that I would like to make given the situation.

Excerpt:
"Listen. Do you hear it?" Fiolad asked.

Nildor heard faint growls and groans, interspersed with a hitching keening that was clearly of elven origin.

"What is that?" asked Nildor.

"I am not sure. I thought at first that it was lovers."

"It sounds more like a warg killing an elf!"
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Are You SURE You're Not Elvish? (ensemble | PG | 1,555 words) has the Pirates of the Caribbean crew ending up in Middle Earth. Everyone mixes up Legolas and Will. Very silly but a lot of fun too.

Excerpt:
"And he says he's not Legolas," Aragorn finished.

Gimli frowned. "Are you sure you're not Legolas with different hair?"

"Yes!" Will complained. "Why won't you people believe me?" He paused. "And why are you so short?"

"Dwarves often are," Gimli told him, deadpan. "Are you sure you're not elvish, then? Because you look very elvish."

"NO!"

"What about part elvish?"

"Why do people keep asking me that? For the last time, no!"

"I don't know, he looks pretty elvish to me," Merry said thoughtfully.
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
They Say of Elves (Legolas/Gimli | PG13 | 1,654 words) is another Legolas/Gimli fic that deals with the differences between the two races. This story draws me in with the rhythm of the words. There's a poetry in it, offset with just the right touches of humor. Lovely, lovely Gimli voice. This entire story is utterly fantastic.

Excerpt:
You know what they say of the Elves, that they'll tumble you soon as look at you; seducers, coquettes, you'll wake with only a handful of leaves and a sweet taste in your mouth.

Well, I have traveled far and seen enough to give lie to many of the tales old Dwarf-dams tell in the mines of my youth. But still and all, I kept my eye on him. Legolas, a tall luminous shape in the edge of my vision; never far from me, a gleam of sunlight at my shoulder. And when the war was over, and he made good on his promise to travel with me, I knew what he was after. I thought I knew.

Durin's Beard, he wasn't subtle, was he? "Visit the tunnels and caverns of your people, Gimli, my friend," indeed. I just bet he was eager to visit my caverns. Elves are all the same.