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Xover (Queer Eye/Various): Queer Eye for the Fandom Guy by Yahtzee

Apr. 29th, 2004 04:05 pm
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Queer Eye for the Fandom Guy (ensemble | G | 1,016 words) has the Fab Five visiting eight different characters from fandom. This thing is full of fantastic one-liners, much like the show itself, and really nails the guys routine. But no, there are so many things that are laugh-out-loud funny in this. And it doesn't get old either.

Excerpt:
Subject three: Captain Jack Sparrow

CARSON: Okay, this is your normal everyday look? This isn't, like, terror drag?

JACK: Oh, this old thing. (Holds out the sleeves of his coat, tosses his hair.)

CARSON: Well, the good side is, you're not afraid to take chances. We can work with that.

TED: Come and take a look at the bar. We've tried to provide a little more variety, a little more finesse -- some top-brand vodka for mixers, a nice brandy --

JACK: Where is the rum?

TED: Rum -- you know, rum's nice in a pina colada or something like that, but it's a little downscale, and if you'll just consider --

JACK (pulls out musket): We'll be putting the rum back, mate.

TED: And the rum goes back.
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Xover (Justice League/Queer Eye): Things Just Keep Getting Better by Wendi

Apr. 4th, 2004 02:02 pm
coprime_recs: Chouji and Shikamaru on a roof cloud-watching (Default)
Things Just Keep Getting Better (ensemble | PG | 7,272 words) is one of the funniest stories I've read. I've read it several times, and I laugh all the way through every time. Flash (aka Wally West) gets a makeover courtesy of the Fab Five, and everything is perfect. Love the Fab Five. And, while I could easily be wrong, I like to believe that Chloe is the Chloe from Smallville. It works in my mind and explains who she is, so.

Excerpt:
Ted looked around the kitchen. "I've gotta be honest with you, Wally. I've been doing this for years, and I've never seen anything this frightening."

Wally leaned against the counter, nodding. "We kind of let the kitchen go since we're, uh, career guys."

"There's letting the kitchen go, then there's letting the kitchen grow, and we're going to change a few things before the health department has to be called in to seal the place off." Ted clapped a hand on his shoulder. "How are you with the grill?"

"I like fire!"

Ted dropped his head and sighed. "O-kay. How are you with suishi?"

"I don't eat raw anything."

Glancing up over the tops of his glasses, Ted realized the truth. "You haven't eaten anything that wasn't take-out in ten years, have you?"

"Uhh, does my aunt's cooking count?" Wally scratched the back of his neck, looking around when he heard a crash from the living room.

"Burn it! I want it all burned!" Thom sounded like a general ordering the sacking of a town, and Wally heard the crunch of glass balls as the Christmas tree toppled.

"You like seafood?"

"Cooked seafood? Yeah!" Wally glanced around the countertop. "We had some Kung Pao shrimp leftover from last night..."

"It crawled away this morning. I believe its parting words were 'awesome party, dude'."

Bruce would love this guy. He was dryer than the Sahara with a serious hard on for expensive wines. Wally was so glad none of this came out of his budget.
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